This would be so much more convincing if I read it to you...

I moved to New York with $1000 clams and a plan to take the voice over world by storm in 1992...long before I started fraternizing with slightly tipsy shuffleboard players, slinging matzo into the mouths of hungry cracker snackers, writing songs about hamsters or trying to get Elliott to eat his dinner.

I got really, really, REALLY lucky and it was my full-time job for 25 pretty fantastically fun years and it’s still the thing I'm probably best at. (I sneak out to do it every once in a while for old time's sake.)

You might've heard me touting the virtues of McDonald's Filet-o-Fish, the whole grain goodness of the new, Dunkin' Donuts multigrain cruller, the effervescent wonder of Coca Cola or the spectacular show coming up next on Nickelodeon.

I've done hold buttons, video games, toy butterflies, books on tape, looping, cartoons and airplane safety announcements. You may remember me from my star turn as "Teen Sneeze #2" in that Kleenex commercial from 2003.

Have your people call my people

CESD (in both New York and LA)

Grossman & Jack in Chicago

…and now, some voiceovers about breakfast